Pancho

An hour ago, I was enraged. I decided that I would vent to the world on my blog, but of course I waited too long and eventually calmed down (boo..).

For the past two years, a sibling of mine has been sick. Very sick. When I worked at the hospital for three years, I saw a lot of sick people, and let me tell you, there is nothing worse than dealing with someone who is mentally sick. Physical sickness has NOTHING on Psychological sickness! I mean, if we put them in a ring, Psych would totally knock out Phys in the first round! My sibling's sickness eventually caused my mother to detiorate psychologically as well (mind you, she had two surgeries last year for physical issues). The doctor prescribed her anti-depressants. My brother moved out (and forgot about us!!) and my father re-married. We began to recieve foreclosure notices in our mail boxes because we couldn't afford the huge rise in interest rates (We went from paying $1,600 a month to $2,300, Subprime Mortgage Slime!!) and my brother used to contribute a large amount every month. I began to work more, dancing at restaurants that I hated, taking on more hours at work and trying to take 5 classes a semester while maintaining a long distance relationship... eventually I became stressed. AND AFTER ALL OF THAT STRESS.... I NEVER felt the amount of sadness/anger that I felt last night AND this afternoon.

Last night, I came home from work.... and my father informs me that Pancho the 5th, the latest addition to our family, flew away. He accidentally left the cage open and he flew away. I was furious. Then, I come home from school this afternoon and my mom tells me that Pancho never flew away, Pancho was gobbled up by my dog Luna because my father let the birds fly around while our four dogs ran around wildly. I had not cried so much in a very long time.
You see, my mom bought Pancho, so that blueberry could have company (a boyfriend). They fell in love instantly. Blueberry had been very lonely after the death of our beloved Palmita (her bestfriend) and this helped us all feel better. When we saw blueberry happy, we were all a little happier. We would look at them cuddling and immediately burst into laughter. Pancho brought us a little glimpse of light, and now that he is dead, our house seems so dark.

I am being dramatic ::sigh:: I know... Life is a lot better than before... My mom is off her anti-depressants, My sibling seems to be improving, I have gained some volition and we might have a home that we can call our own soon! I hate to complain, but today I couldn't help it. I am just being a baby.


R.I.P Pancho the 5th. The beautiful yellow bird that lit up our home and our hearts.